Ever been attacked? Bullied? Cyber-picked-on? Outright screamed at?
I recently got verbally crucified by a life-long friend. (And I rather doubt the friendship can survive.) For some reason, she posted a diatribe about what a terrible person I was as a comment on a Facebook post of mine. I don’t know what triggered her revelation of her apparently-long-held anger, but she let me have it. Hard. And it hurt.
I removed the post from Facebook and messaged her privately, apologizing for her pain and my contribution to it–which was, of course, innocent. I would never cause her pain on purpose. But I did so accidentally. And she turned it around, years later, to hurt me back.
My many apologies seemed to soften her anger slightly, but she did not forgive me. And she repeatedly described her own pain and anguish, of which I had been a part. She did not acknowledge my own horrific pain at the same time, nor do I think she is aware of it even now. And that makes me think she does not care.
Being excluded, ignored, or treated with apathy may be some of the worst pain in the world, especially when you are suffering from some of life’s hardest blows. Apathy serves to add insult to injury. But I did not defend myself to my friend, I only acknowledged her feelings and apologized again.
Now, this lady is by nature very sweet, one of the nicest people I have ever known. Her unkind behavior and downright cruelty toward me were extremely out of character. I believe that she has been “tutored” by someone to be angry with me. I only hold her accountable for being so ugly to me with absolutely no consideration for where I was coming from.
My response to her was to apologize repeatedly and to make mention of all of us having pain. She didn’t know, probably still does not know, how deeply she hurt me with her harsh words, words that accused me of being just an asshole, someone who doesn’t care at all, or even someone who would hurt another person on purpose.
As I am processing this incident–and it knocked me for a loop–I wrote up a little something on Facebook that I’d like to share with you here. It is for those who have been hurt, but it is also for those who do the hurting, intentional or not. And we all have been both.
Before you accuse someone, before you lash out in anger, before you even have a bad thought about someone, please try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Most people are not trying to hurt or offend you. Most of us are doing the best we can to get through every moment. Life isn’t always easy, but love is what makes it worth it.
Here’s my note:
Have compassion.
Show some compassion today. Not just to one person, but to everyone.
Assume positive intent. Not everyone is being rude or mean on purpose.
Include the person who never goes. Maybe you’ve left her out, thinking she’s shy. Maybe she’s depressed. Maybe including her will do her a world of good that you can’t imagine. Maybe excluding her–again–will hurt her more deeply than you’ll ever know.
Some people get depressed and get treatment for it. Some don’t. Many people who seek treatment for depression take a long time–years even–to get the right balance of treatment for them to feel okay.
Sometimes a depressed person seems grumpy, because that’s the best she can do to keep from crying in front of you. Or all the time. Sometimes “grumpy” is her M.O., because that’s how she manages to show up for work and tries to get through the day. Maybe it is taking every ounce of courage and energy she has just to get out of bed.
Be kind to someone who is poor. Being poor is not necessarily a reflection on how hard a person works or how willing a person is to work. You know the old saying, “If wealth were the inevitable result of hard work, every woman in Africa would be a millionaire.” And so would I.
There is no excuse for showing contempt for someone simply because he is poor. He’s not poor because he wants to be, or because he is trying to cause an affront to you. Nobody enjoys being poor, believe me.
Call your friend who has lost a loved one within the last year or two. Let them know you’re thinking about them and that you care. Grief is a pain that lessens over time but never goes away.
My angels told me not to give any more readings until I had told this story and put it on the web. I dragged my feet getting it done and, sure enough, I gave a reading that was less-than-stellar. And my readings are always stellar! So here’s my story:
My angels told me in July that August would be a “writing month”, a month for writing, a month to do nothing but write.
They would really prefer that I take the entire month of August off (and *I* would really prefer to GO somplace COOL for the month)–alas, that is not practical. After all, I have to be here to help YOU!
AND I have a book-signing and another Expo in Houston this month.
Still, I am writing quite a bit more than usual, trying to live up to the cosmic demand of my writing gift. I have already put in time on one of the two novels I have been writing for some time (the sci-fi one); a children’s book that is all in rhyming verse, which I started when my now-24-year-old was a baby; and my collection of personal essays about my childhood, Growing Up Pleasant: Memoirs of a Freakishly Happy Childhood.
I also started a “journal” of sorts, about painful interactions I have had with people over the years. Ever had a major fight with your mom? An incident with your spouse, in which that spouse hurt your feelings pretty badly? Consistent barbs delivered by someone who supposedly loves you? This is the type of thing I am writing about, and I think/hope it is really just for me. I wouldn’t want to share these stories.
All I know is that, during meditation one day, the only thing that happened was one of these stories writing itself in my head. And that means that I have to write it down. Then other painful memories came along, so I decided on the title “Pain and Hilarity”. because, if you can’t laugh at your pain, you are doomed!
Would a “pain and hilarity” journal help you release old pain? I believe that is why my angels have guided me thusly. Consider doing it for yourself, and then let me know how it goes.
Denise: Hi Susan! Does my Mom have anything to say?
Free Psychic Readings by Susan: Hi, Denise–May I have her first name, please?
Denise: Well, she never liked her first name. She went by her middle name, Joyce. Is that good enough?
Free Psychic Readings by Susan: Yes, great! Thank you! Ah, the name thing, important in life because of the connection, but no longer meaningful. Still, Joyce is a lovely name! And she does not regret anything. (No one on the Other Side does.) She is saying to soothe your soul by soothing your soles. Pedicure? Foot massage? She’s also talking about the book you are reading–or the one that is by your bed but you are NOT reading. She is indicating that it’s really good for you to read it. Remember that any directives from RIPs are always YOUR choice whether or not to do it and YOUR benefit if you do. RIPs never haunt you or get mad at you just because you didn’t want to follow their suggestion. So the book, looks like it has a sunset on the cover? Brown/grey/pink. Paperback. Read it. Love & Kisses, Susan K
Denise: I am so glad she has no regrets. That is wonderful news! I would love to get a pedicure, will happily take her advice on that! Interesting, the book, I’m going to post a pic – I go EVERYWHERE with this one book, The Magic of Thinking Big, and it is a paperback. Even if I only read a couple of pages a day, I am reading it, albeit slowly. But then you said sunset on the cover, Brown/grey/pink – it isn’t a paperback, but I have been carrying that with me…The Power of Believing: How You Can Create the Life You Want, with intention to read it, but I haven’t been – that will change tonight! I know you are busy tonight. Please, if you can, tell her I love her (she probably knows that) and thank her for me! And thanks to you, Susan!
Free Psychic Readings by Susan: WOW! That’s the one I saw! I suppose the paperback thing means to keep reading the other one too. Fantastic! Thanks, Denise!
Denise: Powerful stuff, Susan, you are amazing! Thank you!
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Warning: If you are religious, especially very Christian, you may find this offensive, blasphemic, and/or inflammatory. Proceed at your own peril.
Have you ever heard the expression “A myth is just a religion that no one believes in anymore”?
I’ve given it some thought. You know I am always seeking answers for you and for myself, right? And you know I’m not religious? But I do believe and feel that there is something that creates and feeds us, Source, God, the Force, whatever you want to call it. I just don’t believe in the God of the Old Testament (and some of the New, although I dig Jesus for the most part), who is all judgy and wrathful.
Thus, here’s a little game I just came up with. (I’m sure I’m not the first to come up with it, but I don’t recall having seen it elsewhere.)
Take verses from the Bible and replace “God” (or “the Lord”) with “Zeus”. If you have forgotten your ancient Greek mythology, Zeus was the BIG god, the main guy, the head honcho and Gran Queso. (That’s “Big Cheese” for the uninitiated, or “uninicianado”.) At least, he was after he overthrew his father, Cronus. But I digress. Let’s play!
“And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the mountain of Zeus’s house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills; and all nations shall flow unto it. And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of Zeus…” ~ Isaiah 2:2
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with Zeus, and the Word was Zeus.” ~ John 1:1 (This is actually one of my favorite verses, and I like to replace “Word” with “Thought”, because thought is energy and isn’t that where it all begins? But that’s another blog post.)
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of Zeus.” ~ Ephesians 2:8
“Zeus is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.” ~ Psalm 145:8 (Not judgy and wrathful, yes, I know, but it still works.)
Do you think the ancient Greeks were any less serious about their religion than many people of today? I know that I tend to think of mythology as silly and I can hardly imagine someone actually believing that it was true. But people did.
What do you think? Can you give me some verses that will give us a giggle, at least? Can you expand on this idea? Leave your thoughts and scriptures in the comments below.
Just for fun, I thought I’d share something about working with spirits, or people on the Other Side. As a psychic medium, I have worked with my share of such energies. It’s fascinating work for me and is always very satisfying for the client.
When I am doing a psychic medium reading, we’ll hear from one or more of the client’s late loved ones about 50-60% of the time. The rest of the time, there are several reasons for not hearing from someone:
1) The client is too young to have lost anyone close to them or has simply not had that experience at any age.
2) The client is not interested in hearing from those on the other side. The spirits will accommodate that sometimes–but not always! Sometimes, they come on through anyway, and I convey their messages.
3) The client is already in touch with his or her late loved ones, being naturally in-tune with that, or having had such a close relationship that it continues beyond death.
4) Rarely, I’m not the right medium for that or those spirits. Sure, it can happen!
When I did group readings specifically to communicate with those on the Other Side, as John Edward does on television, there were always plenty of spirits to choose from. Some were more insistent than others, while some waited patiently and hoped to have a turn.
I can’t speak for John, but usually when I am through working, either by the clock or my own fatigue, the spirits will leave me alone until I give them another opportunity.
Oh, and sometimes I have a spirit come through who is really for the next person’s reading!
I received an email from a fellow spiritual teacher in which she talked about “lessons”. You’ve probably heard something about lessons all your life–you have to learn your lessons, you came into this life to learn certain lessons and you’ll keep being challenged until you learn the lesson.
Bullshit.
Pardon my profanity, but I never like using the word “lessons”. The word “lesson” contains implicit reference to your ability to pass or fail. And that’s just not how it works.
The Universe is logical. There is no pass or fail, no right or wrong way to live your life. There is only what you like and what you don’t like.
Yes, you learn, but not because anyone is keeping score and not because you might fail and mess up and fall down and never get it right. You don’t have to get it right. Your mission is to live in the way that you like.
Yes, there are consequences to actions, thoughts, and feelings. What you get to learn is which actions, thoughts, and feelings bring the consequences you like, instead of the ones you don’t like.
Yes, it can be a little tricky. But you have plenty of cosmic help and support. Instead of “lessons”, think of “messages”. Messages come at you all the time. This is the word I prefer to “lessons”. If you think of “messages” being provided to you through the consequences you are experiencing, you can figure out which messages lead you to the consequences you like.
Pay attention! Thoughts that pop into your head, conversations you overhear, something that gets your attention on the radio, experiences that happen to you, and eventually your own body… all of these contain messages that are intended to guide you toward what you like.
“How did you know you were psychic?” I get asked that a lot, and I always think it’s kind of funny, because isn’t it a self-answering question? But the truth is that I actually did not know I was psychic for a long time. I did, but I didn’t. Let me explain.
I don’t see dead people all the time. But, if I pay attention, I can feel spirits around me most of the time. You see, I spent most of my life ignoring my gifts. When I was a child, and I told my mom that I felt like I was being watched, that I had a feeling that other, unseen people were in my room, she praised my “wonderful imagination.”
I’m glad she treated it that way, instead of condemning it, but it never occurred to me that I was gifted in any way. I grew up believing that all creative people felt “unseens” around them, and frequently had pictures of unfamiliar faces pop into their heads. It wasn’t until I was in my early 40’s that I figured out what that was!
I also had spontaneous out-of-body experiences starting when I was in my early teens. It wasn’t until I read that famous medium John Edward had the same experience that I understood it foretold my gifts as a psychic.
I’ve had some very bold premonitions, like those of my husband’s death and September 11, but, except when I am doing readings, most of my days are probably a lot like most of yours. Maybe I’m more accustomed to receiving “messages from the Cosmos,” but it doesn’t mean you aren’t getting them aimed at your head too!
If I pay attention, I can tune into almost anything I want. I’ve learned to “home in” or “tune the radio” and pick up the signals. I can look at a stranger–or think about one–and I’ll “see” his/her energy, any health problems in the body, past and future events, and/or spirits of his/her late loved ones.
This is how I work over the phone–I just tune into the person I am reading for. If you ever see me working live, you’ll notice me looking at the floor or a blank wall. This is so I can better “see” what’s in my mind’s eye without the distractions of faces and pictures.
I do almost always feel energies around me. Especially over my right shoulder. This is a guide or a group of energies that follow and steer me. And it’s quite comfortable for me to have that feeling.
Did I answer the self-answering question? What else do you want to know about walking around every day in the Psychic’s Pshoes?
We all start out in the Garden of Eden. We know we are fully loved without condition and that all our needs are met before we even recognize them.
Do you think the baby comes out of the womb asking, “Did I do all right? Do I get a good grade? Does my hair look good? Does my mom love me?” Of course not. Infants have just experienced nine months of having every need met instantaneously. It doesn’t occur to them that this trend won’t continue.
After being born, we know instinctively to cry when we have a need, and that need is usually met pretty quickly, since a baby crying is annoying and, to its mother, unbearable. We have come from unconditional love and we KNOW it, we have a full knowing of it, without doubt.
Then, one day, Mommy has to say “NO.” She has to stop you from touching the stove or pulling the TV over on your head. And that feels like NOT LOVE. So we start trying to please her in an effort to get back to LOVE, back to the Garden.
We start making our beds and good grades, singing if we can sing, being funny if we can be funny, smiling if we’re good at smiling. We seek approval because it’s the only thing we can figure out how to get. It only works sometimes, but it feels pretty good when we can get it.
And that’s the paradox: You can’t earn unconditional love. You can only earn approval, which is a pale shadow of unconditional love. But we keep trying, because in the back of our heart, we remember unconditional love and we want it. We want it bad.
Here’s the secret: You’re still in the Garden. You never really left; it’s an illusion that you have to earn someone’s approval. You are MADE of unconditional love! Your soul is a piece of it, and you carry it around in this vessel you call a body. All you have to do is REMEMBER and FEEL.
Can you feel it? Have you ever felt like you’re back in the Garden? Close your eyes and feel it. It is within you now and forever.
Ever been attacked? Bullied? Cyber-picked-on? Outright screamed at?
