My step-mother, Jean, passed away in January, 2016, after a long illness. My father was her primary care-giver, so her passing, in addition to bringing great sorrow, was a relief, not only to her, but also to my dad and all the family.
In the days following my step-mom’s death, I attempted to contact her. At first, I was just walking to my car and reached out to say a tentative hello. She answered that she would be happy to talk to me later, but she was really busy at the moment. I told my dad and my step-sister. They exchanged a smile and said simultaneously, “Paperwork!”
Later, I had a quiet moment to ask if I could visit with Jean. She showed up in a garden filled with flowers. She wore the pink dress she wore when she married my dad, almost 30 years prior, and she perched gracefully on a swing whose ropes were entwined with spring blossoms. She smiled at me. “Have you met my little boy?” she asked me, gesturing to the six-year-old blond boy standing beside her.
(My step-brother, Ed, passed away in 1995. I believe that six years old must have been her favorite age for Ed. I also believe that she actually died of a broken heart–it just took twenty years to kill her.)
I asked how she was doing and if she had anything for me to relay to my father. She said everything was wonderful and she was really happy there in her garden. Then, she held out a pink evening primrose, known colloquially as a buttercup, which is a pretty little wildflower that grows, along with bluebonnets and a wide array of other blooms, all over Texas in the spring. She pushed it toward me, and I felt like I was watching her on a screen. The buttercup came toward the camera and filled the frame. Jean said, “Be sure to tell your daddy about this. It’s very important.” (She always referred to my dad as “your daddy” when she talked to me.)
I recounted all of this to my dad, who listened enrapt. At the end, I asked, “Does the buttercup mean something to you?” He shook his head. “No. I can’t think of a thing.”
“Don’t worry,” I told him. “It will mean something.”
In the last long and dreary months of her life, Jean had directed my dad in constructing a garden in their backyard. He knew nothing about gardens and flowers, but she told him what would look good and how to get it done. She loved flowers. I’ve often sat in that garden with my dad, both before and after Jean’s passing, enjoying the fruits of her designs.
Daddy and I both thought that maybe buttercups would grow in that garden in the spring that followed, and that would be the message from Jean that my dad was craving. Spring came early and flowers bloomed, but no buttercups appeared in Jean’s garden at my dad’s house.
Every once in awhile, I would ask, “Have you seen the buttercup yet?” No, no buttercups yet. And I would assure him again, “Don’t worry. You’ll find it.”
One day in March, Daddy drove up into East Texas to do some work. (Yes, he still works at 80 years old! Drives too!) He was enjoying his “new life”, one unburdened by care-giving in which he was free to work and play and make his way, and he was wise enough to appreciate it without guilt. The bluebonnets, Texas’ token flower, distributed across the state thanks to efforts by our First Lady, Lady Bird Johnson, decades ago, were in full glory. The azaleas were past their peak, but the other wildflowers were making their way amongst the grasses and bluebonnets, as well.
Daddy came to a curve in the highway, and there was a tall embankment in front of him as he approached it, filling his windshield, just as Jean’s buttercup had filled my vision. It was blanketed in wildflowers. He saw how beautiful it was and thought, “This has been painted just for me by the Loving Artist. This is my New Life, full of wonder and opportunity and love.”
And then he saw it. Nestled amongst the bluebonnets, unmistakably and insistently blooming, there grew a two-foot circle of pink blossoms–solid buttercups.
“We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny. But what we put into it is ours.”~~Dag Hammarskjold
[Don’t go looking for parts 1-11, because I just made up “Part 12”. This is a topic I think about a lot and there may be other posts about it.]
I ran across this quote from the UN Secretary-General of the ’50s, and it made me start ruminatin’ yet again about destiny vs. free will. This is not a religious question for me, but a philosophical one: Is it all preordained or do we have a choice about our lives? If it is not preordained, how can I see events that will happen in the future? And, for people who are not psychic, is the question less–or more–important or difficult? And lastly, what did Dag know that the rest of us don’t?
I have meditated, read, and thought quite a bit about this. I was raised Presbyterian, where preordination is the prescribed belief. God plans it all out for us, according to the Presbys. Even though I left the church long ago and am not religious, this belief informs my thoughts and feelings today.
I have read other teachers’ works which claim that our souls plan everything ahead of time, before we are even conceived. I find that can be comforting, especially in difficulty. To believe that you had a good reason for planning whatever tragedy has befallen you can be somewhat soothing. But then I think, isn’t that the same thing as saying, “It’s God’s will”? And “It’s God’s will” always pisses me off, because why would God want you to suffer? One reason I am not religious is that I don’t believe in a God who allows, wants, or causes suffering.
But if you have chosen your path yourself, and you assume you had a good reason, does that help? “Why in the world would I want to lose [this person I love] at this stage in my life?” And we don’t know.
The other side of this coin is that everything may be random. Stuff just happens, and you can make things happen or not happen if you think and try and plan and work hard enough. It’s “free will”–another religious thing I don’t like, as if we are actually programmed one way, but then “God” gives us freedom from that programming so we can be free to sin and screw up for Him. Pfffft.
After working with clients for over ten years, and making accurate predictions for them all, one day I finally determined that our lives are a combination of Destiny and Free Will. It seems that there are events I call “Destiny Points” that will happen no matter what you do. Examples are the person you’ll marry and the children you will (or won’t) have, a car wreck, a job or career, that kind of thing. The choice part comes in how fast or slow you get to those points (unless they are tied to a specific age, which seems possible) and how happy you are getting there.
This worked for me pretty well. But I kept coming back to the idea of, if I can predict it accurately, doesn’t that mean it is already in motion? Already a plan? Already happening in a future time? And I predict all manner of random things, not only big “Destiny Points”, that turn out to be true. I’ve had premonitions of things that were not connected to readings or clients, such as my husband’s death and September 11–how is that possible, if they were not already going to happen?
My theory that we have Destiny Points and our choice of happiness and speed between them matches Hammarskjold’s quote fairly well. What do you think?
Did you like this post? Be sure to sign up for my free report and free newsletters. Click “More” in the menu at the top of this page, then select “Free Newsletters”.
“Someone else’s disapproval of you is their fault, not yours.”
Other people were not put on this earth to give or withhold their approval of you. And you were not put here to earn their approval. Anyone who doesn’t “approve” of you in any way is only showing their own colors, drab and ugly as they may be.
It can be hard to ignore someone’s disapproval, especially those closest to you. Oh, sure, it’s pretty easy not to care if a stranger looks askance at your tattoo or outright tells you she disapproves of what you just said to your child. Those fall into the “joke ’em if they can’t take a f**k” category. Roll your eyes and move along.
But when it’s your family members or other close loved ones, disapproval can sting. Still, it comes down to this: no matter how much you might desire your loved one’s approval, that approval (or disapproval) has nothing to do with you. It is only that person trying to manipulate you into making him/herself feel better. (And they don’t know that their happiness is up to them, not you! Go figure!)
And who wants to be manipulated into doing someone else’s bidding? Show of hands? None? How about that?
I can’t even count the number of times I have described the third chakra to a client in these words: “Your opinion of you is the only one that needs to matter to you.”
You may never get the approval you so dearly long for from your dad, your mom, your grandma… But it doesn’t matter, because their disapproval is their own fault. They conjured it up and spit it out as they chose to do. Go on and do your thing, baby. Not that you need it, but you’ve got my approval.
Where do I get these amazingly wonderful ideas? From my angels, of course! You probably get them too, right?
Here is my latest-and-greatest angel/guide download, and I am having a great time with it.
Vision boards became popular several years ago with the rise in interest in the Law of Attraction. By creating a poster with things that you want on it, you draw those things into your life. There are lots of great stories about how effective vision boards can be. I have made a number of them over the years, when I was feeling extra-creative (like I am now–what is up with that?).
During one of my numerous moves over recent years, I ran across a travel-themed vision board I had made. When I made it, I didn’t have any plans (or money) for any travel, and I put places on my vision board that I didn’t even have much great desire to go, such as New York City and Paris. They were just popular travel spots that I thought I “should” visit. When I unearthed the travel vision board, I discovered that I had indeed visited a number of the places on it, including New York City and Paris! And most of those trips came to be via something other than me having the money to do it. They were gifts and special offers.
Back in January of this year, I created a vision board for 2015, but I did it in a photo editing software. (www.picmonkey.com) Working in this medium can feel less creative to people who prefer working with their hands, but it was very satisfying for me. Here’s the result.
Without digging any further into the phenomenon of vision boards, I offer this simple suggestion: shrink it down. The nice thing about vision cards, such as the ones I created, shown in the picture above, is that you can carry them in your wallet or purse, you can put them under your pillow, you can stick them in a little box or book. Vision boards tend to be bulky, and vision cards are completely portable. That way, you can refer to them any time you want, and storage is simple.
I envision a world where everyone creates vision cards to make their lives better! And we put them into photo albums, which we stuff onto our bookshelves, where we can go back and look at them any time we like! And we’ll say, “Oh, look what I created! I brought that happy thing into being!”
Ever been attacked? Bullied? Cyber-picked-on? Outright screamed at?
I recently got verbally crucified by a life-long friend. (And I rather doubt the friendship can survive.) For some reason, she posted a diatribe about what a terrible person I was as a comment on a Facebook post of mine. I don’t know what triggered her revelation of her apparently-long-held anger, but she let me have it. Hard. And it hurt.
I removed the post from Facebook and messaged her privately, apologizing for her pain and my contribution to it–which was, of course, innocent. I would never cause her pain on purpose. But I did so accidentally. And she turned it around, years later, to hurt me back.
My many apologies seemed to soften her anger slightly, but she did not forgive me. And she repeatedly described her own pain and anguish, of which I had been a part. She did not acknowledge my own horrific pain at the same time, nor do I think she is aware of it even now. And that makes me think she does not care.
Being excluded, ignored, or treated with apathy may be some of the worst pain in the world, especially when you are suffering from some of life’s hardest blows. Apathy serves to add insult to injury. But I did not defend myself to my friend, I only acknowledged her feelings and apologized again.
Now, this lady is by nature very sweet, one of the nicest people I have ever known. Her unkind behavior and downright cruelty toward me were extremely out of character. I believe that she has been “tutored” by someone to be angry with me. I only hold her accountable for being so ugly to me with absolutely no consideration for where I was coming from.
My response to her was to apologize repeatedly and to make mention of all of us having pain. She didn’t know, probably still does not know, how deeply she hurt me with her harsh words, words that accused me of being just an asshole, someone who doesn’t care at all, or even someone who would hurt another person on purpose.
As I am processing this incident–and it knocked me for a loop–I wrote up a little something on Facebook that I’d like to share with you here. It is for those who have been hurt, but it is also for those who do the hurting, intentional or not. And we all have been both.
Before you accuse someone, before you lash out in anger, before you even have a bad thought about someone, please try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Most people are not trying to hurt or offend you. Most of us are doing the best we can to get through every moment. Life isn’t always easy, but love is what makes it worth it.
Here’s my note:
Have compassion.
Show some compassion today. Not just to one person, but to everyone.
Assume positive intent. Not everyone is being rude or mean on purpose.
Include the person who never goes. Maybe you’ve left her out, thinking she’s shy. Maybe she’s depressed. Maybe including her will do her a world of good that you can’t imagine. Maybe excluding her–again–will hurt her more deeply than you’ll ever know.
Some people get depressed and get treatment for it. Some don’t. Many people who seek treatment for depression take a long time–years even–to get the right balance of treatment for them to feel okay.
Sometimes a depressed person seems grumpy, because that’s the best she can do to keep from crying in front of you. Or all the time. Sometimes “grumpy” is her M.O., because that’s how she manages to show up for work and tries to get through the day. Maybe it is taking every ounce of courage and energy she has just to get out of bed.
Be kind to someone who is poor. Being poor is not necessarily a reflection on how hard a person works or how willing a person is to work. You know the old saying, “If wealth were the inevitable result of hard work, every woman in Africa would be a millionaire.” And so would I.
There is no excuse for showing contempt for someone simply because he is poor. He’s not poor because he wants to be, or because he is trying to cause an affront to you. Nobody enjoys being poor, believe me.
Call your friend who has lost a loved one within the last year or two. Let them know you’re thinking about them and that you care. Grief is a pain that lessens over time but never goes away.
My angels told me not to give any more readings until I had told this story and put it on the web. I dragged my feet getting it done and, sure enough, I gave a reading that was less-than-stellar. And my readings are always stellar! So here’s my story:
My angels told me in July that August would be a “writing month”, a month for writing, a month to do nothing but write.
They would really prefer that I take the entire month of August off (and *I* would really prefer to GO somplace COOL for the month)–alas, that is not practical. After all, I have to be here to help YOU!
AND I have a book-signing and another Expo in Houston this month.
Still, I am writing quite a bit more than usual, trying to live up to the cosmic demand of my writing gift. I have already put in time on one of the two novels I have been writing for some time (the sci-fi one); a children’s book that is all in rhyming verse, which I started when my now-24-year-old was a baby; and my collection of personal essays about my childhood, Growing Up Pleasant: Memoirs of a Freakishly Happy Childhood.
I also started a “journal” of sorts, about painful interactions I have had with people over the years. Ever had a major fight with your mom? An incident with your spouse, in which that spouse hurt your feelings pretty badly? Consistent barbs delivered by someone who supposedly loves you? This is the type of thing I am writing about, and I think/hope it is really just for me. I wouldn’t want to share these stories.
All I know is that, during meditation one day, the only thing that happened was one of these stories writing itself in my head. And that means that I have to write it down. Then other painful memories came along, so I decided on the title “Pain and Hilarity”. because, if you can’t laugh at your pain, you are doomed!
Would a “pain and hilarity” journal help you release old pain? I believe that is why my angels have guided me thusly. Consider doing it for yourself, and then let me know how it goes.
Denise: Hi Susan! Does my Mom have anything to say?
Free Psychic Readings by Susan: Hi, Denise–May I have her first name, please?
Denise: Well, she never liked her first name. She went by her middle name, Joyce. Is that good enough?
Free Psychic Readings by Susan: Yes, great! Thank you! Ah, the name thing, important in life because of the connection, but no longer meaningful. Still, Joyce is a lovely name! And she does not regret anything. (No one on the Other Side does.) She is saying to soothe your soul by soothing your soles. Pedicure? Foot massage? She’s also talking about the book you are reading–or the one that is by your bed but you are NOT reading. She is indicating that it’s really good for you to read it. Remember that any directives from RIPs are always YOUR choice whether or not to do it and YOUR benefit if you do. RIPs never haunt you or get mad at you just because you didn’t want to follow their suggestion. So the book, looks like it has a sunset on the cover? Brown/grey/pink. Paperback. Read it. Love & Kisses, Susan K
Denise: I am so glad she has no regrets. That is wonderful news! I would love to get a pedicure, will happily take her advice on that! Interesting, the book, I’m going to post a pic – I go EVERYWHERE with this one book, The Magic of Thinking Big, and it is a paperback. Even if I only read a couple of pages a day, I am reading it, albeit slowly. But then you said sunset on the cover, Brown/grey/pink – it isn’t a paperback, but I have been carrying that with me…The Power of Believing: How You Can Create the Life You Want, with intention to read it, but I haven’t been – that will change tonight! I know you are busy tonight. Please, if you can, tell her I love her (she probably knows that) and thank her for me! And thanks to you, Susan!
Free Psychic Readings by Susan: WOW! That’s the one I saw! I suppose the paperback thing means to keep reading the other one too. Fantastic! Thanks, Denise!
Denise: Powerful stuff, Susan, you are amazing! Thank you!
Did you like this post? Be sure to sign up for my free report and free newsletters. Click “More” in the menu at the top of this page, then select “Free Newsletters”.
Warning: If you are religious, especially very Christian, you may find this offensive, blasphemic, and/or inflammatory. Proceed at your own peril.
Have you ever heard the expression “A myth is just a religion that no one believes in anymore”?
I’ve given it some thought. You know I am always seeking answers for you and for myself, right? And you know I’m not religious? But I do believe and feel that there is something that creates and feeds us, Source, God, the Force, whatever you want to call it. I just don’t believe in the God of the Old Testament (and some of the New, although I dig Jesus for the most part), who is all judgy and wrathful.
Thus, here’s a little game I just came up with. (I’m sure I’m not the first to come up with it, but I don’t recall having seen it elsewhere.)
Take verses from the Bible and replace “God” (or “the Lord”) with “Zeus”. If you have forgotten your ancient Greek mythology, Zeus was the BIG god, the main guy, the head honcho and Gran Queso. (That’s “Big Cheese” for the uninitiated, or “uninicianado”.) At least, he was after he overthrew his father, Cronus. But I digress. Let’s play!
“And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the mountain of Zeus’s house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills; and all nations shall flow unto it. And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of Zeus…” ~ Isaiah 2:2
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with Zeus, and the Word was Zeus.” ~ John 1:1 (This is actually one of my favorite verses, and I like to replace “Word” with “Thought”, because thought is energy and isn’t that where it all begins? But that’s another blog post.)
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of Zeus.” ~ Ephesians 2:8
“Zeus is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.” ~ Psalm 145:8 (Not judgy and wrathful, yes, I know, but it still works.)
Do you think the ancient Greeks were any less serious about their religion than many people of today? I know that I tend to think of mythology as silly and I can hardly imagine someone actually believing that it was true. But people did.
What do you think? Can you give me some verses that will give us a giggle, at least? Can you expand on this idea? Leave your thoughts and scriptures in the comments below.
Just for fun, I thought I’d share something about working with spirits, or people on the Other Side. As a psychic medium, I have worked with my share of such energies. It’s fascinating work for me and is always very satisfying for the client.
When I am doing a psychic medium reading, we’ll hear from one or more of the client’s late loved ones about 50-60% of the time. The rest of the time, there are several reasons for not hearing from someone:
1) The client is too young to have lost anyone close to them or has simply not had that experience at any age.
2) The client is not interested in hearing from those on the other side. The spirits will accommodate that sometimes–but not always! Sometimes, they come on through anyway, and I convey their messages.
3) The client is already in touch with his or her late loved ones, being naturally in-tune with that, or having had such a close relationship that it continues beyond death.
4) Rarely, I’m not the right medium for that or those spirits. Sure, it can happen!
When I did group readings specifically to communicate with those on the Other Side, as John Edward does on television, there were always plenty of spirits to choose from. Some were more insistent than others, while some waited patiently and hoped to have a turn.
I can’t speak for John, but usually when I am through working, either by the clock or my own fatigue, the spirits will leave me alone until I give them another opportunity.
Oh, and sometimes I have a spirit come through who is really for the next person’s reading!
My step-mother, Jean, passed away in January, 2016, after a long illness. My father was her primary care-giver, so her passing, in addition to bringing great sorrow, was a relief, not only to her, but also to my dad and all the family.
Received from one of my very own RIPs:
Where do I get these amazingly wonderful ideas? From my angels, of course! You probably get them too, right?
Back in January of this year, I created a vision board for 2015, but I did it in a photo editing software. (
