Ever been attacked? Bullied? Cyber-picked-on? Outright screamed at?
I recently got verbally crucified by a life-long friend. (And I rather doubt the friendship can survive.) For some reason, she posted a diatribe about what a terrible person I was as a comment on a Facebook post of mine. I don’t know what triggered her revelation of her apparently-long-held anger, but she let me have it. Hard. And it hurt.
I removed the post from Facebook and messaged her privately, apologizing for her pain and my contribution to it–which was, of course, innocent. I would never cause her pain on purpose. But I did so accidentally. And she turned it around, years later, to hurt me back.
My many apologies seemed to soften her anger slightly, but she did not forgive me. And she repeatedly described her own pain and anguish, of which I had been a part. She did not acknowledge my own horrific pain at the same time, nor do I think she is aware of it even now. And that makes me think she does not care.
Being excluded, ignored, or treated with apathy may be some of the worst pain in the world, especially when you are suffering from some of life’s hardest blows. Apathy serves to add insult to injury. But I did not defend myself to my friend, I only acknowledged her feelings and apologized again.
Now, this lady is by nature very sweet, one of the nicest people I have ever known. Her unkind behavior and downright cruelty toward me were extremely out of character. I believe that she has been “tutored” by someone to be angry with me. I only hold her accountable for being so ugly to me with absolutely no consideration for where I was coming from.
My response to her was to apologize repeatedly and to make mention of all of us having pain. She didn’t know, probably still does not know, how deeply she hurt me with her harsh words, words that accused me of being just an asshole, someone who doesn’t care at all, or even someone who would hurt another person on purpose.
As I am processing this incident–and it knocked me for a loop–I wrote up a little something on Facebook that I’d like to share with you here. It is for those who have been hurt, but it is also for those who do the hurting, intentional or not. And we all have been both.
Before you accuse someone, before you lash out in anger, before you even have a bad thought about someone, please try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Most people are not trying to hurt or offend you. Most of us are doing the best we can to get through every moment. Life isn’t always easy, but love is what makes it worth it.
Here’s my note:
Have compassion.
Show some compassion today. Not just to one person, but to everyone.
Assume positive intent. Not everyone is being rude or mean on purpose.
Include the person who never goes. Maybe you’ve left her out, thinking she’s shy. Maybe she’s depressed. Maybe including her will do her a world of good that you can’t imagine. Maybe excluding her–again–will hurt her more deeply than you’ll ever know.
Some people get depressed and get treatment for it. Some don’t. Many people who seek treatment for depression take a long time–years even–to get the right balance of treatment for them to feel okay.
Sometimes a depressed person seems grumpy, because that’s the best she can do to keep from crying in front of you. Or all the time. Sometimes “grumpy” is her M.O., because that’s how she manages to show up for work and tries to get through the day. Maybe it is taking every ounce of courage and energy she has just to get out of bed.
Be kind to someone who is poor. Being poor is not necessarily a reflection on how hard a person works or how willing a person is to work. You know the old saying, “If wealth were the inevitable result of hard work, every woman in Africa would be a millionaire.” And so would I.
There is no excuse for showing contempt for someone simply because he is poor. He’s not poor because he wants to be, or because he is trying to cause an affront to you. Nobody enjoys being poor, believe me.
Call your friend who has lost a loved one within the last year or two. Let them know you’re thinking about them and that you care. Grief is a pain that lessens over time but never goes away.
Warning: If you are religious, especially very Christian, you may find this offensive, blasphemic, and/or inflammatory. Proceed at your own peril.
Have you ever heard the expression “A myth is just a religion that no one believes in anymore”?
I’ve given it some thought. You know I am always seeking answers for you and for myself, right? And you know I’m not religious? But I do believe and feel that there is something that creates and feeds us, Source, God, the Force, whatever you want to call it. I just don’t believe in the God of the Old Testament (and some of the New, although I dig Jesus for the most part), who is all judgy and wrathful.
Thus, here’s a little game I just came up with. (I’m sure I’m not the first to come up with it, but I don’t recall having seen it elsewhere.)
Take verses from the Bible and replace “God” (or “the Lord”) with “Zeus”. If you have forgotten your ancient Greek mythology, Zeus was the BIG god, the main guy, the head honcho and Gran Queso. (That’s “Big Cheese” for the uninitiated, or “uninicianado”.) At least, he was after he overthrew his father, Cronus. But I digress. Let’s play!
“And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the mountain of Zeus’s house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills; and all nations shall flow unto it. And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of Zeus…” ~ Isaiah 2:2
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with Zeus, and the Word was Zeus.” ~ John 1:1 (This is actually one of my favorite verses, and I like to replace “Word” with “Thought”, because thought is energy and isn’t that where it all begins? But that’s another blog post.)
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of Zeus.” ~ Ephesians 2:8
“Zeus is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.” ~ Psalm 145:8 (Not judgy and wrathful, yes, I know, but it still works.)
Do you think the ancient Greeks were any less serious about their religion than many people of today? I know that I tend to think of mythology as silly and I can hardly imagine someone actually believing that it was true. But people did.
What do you think? Can you give me some verses that will give us a giggle, at least? Can you expand on this idea? Leave your thoughts and scriptures in the comments below.
I received an email from a fellow spiritual teacher in which she talked about “lessons”. You’ve probably heard something about lessons all your life–you have to learn your lessons, you came into this life to learn certain lessons and you’ll keep being challenged until you learn the lesson.
Bullshit.
Pardon my profanity, but I never like using the word “lessons”. The word “lesson” contains implicit reference to your ability to pass or fail. And that’s just not how it works.
The Universe is logical. There is no pass or fail, no right or wrong way to live your life. There is only what you like and what you don’t like.
Yes, you learn, but not because anyone is keeping score and not because you might fail and mess up and fall down and never get it right. You don’t have to get it right. Your mission is to live in the way that you like.
Yes, there are consequences to actions, thoughts, and feelings. What you get to learn is which actions, thoughts, and feelings bring the consequences you like, instead of the ones you don’t like.
Yes, it can be a little tricky. But you have plenty of cosmic help and support. Instead of “lessons”, think of “messages”. Messages come at you all the time. This is the word I prefer to “lessons”. If you think of “messages” being provided to you through the consequences you are experiencing, you can figure out which messages lead you to the consequences you like.
Pay attention! Thoughts that pop into your head, conversations you overhear, something that gets your attention on the radio, experiences that happen to you, and eventually your own body… all of these contain messages that are intended to guide you toward what you like.
We all start out in the Garden of Eden. We know we are fully loved without condition and that all our needs are met before we even recognize them.
Do you think the baby comes out of the womb asking, “Did I do all right? Do I get a good grade? Does my hair look good? Does my mom love me?” Of course not. Infants have just experienced nine months of having every need met instantaneously. It doesn’t occur to them that this trend won’t continue.
After being born, we know instinctively to cry when we have a need, and that need is usually met pretty quickly, since a baby crying is annoying and, to its mother, unbearable. We have come from unconditional love and we KNOW it, we have a full knowing of it, without doubt.
Then, one day, Mommy has to say “NO.” She has to stop you from touching the stove or pulling the TV over on your head. And that feels like NOT LOVE. So we start trying to please her in an effort to get back to LOVE, back to the Garden.
We start making our beds and good grades, singing if we can sing, being funny if we can be funny, smiling if we’re good at smiling. We seek approval because it’s the only thing we can figure out how to get. It only works sometimes, but it feels pretty good when we can get it.
And that’s the paradox: You can’t earn unconditional love. You can only earn approval, which is a pale shadow of unconditional love. But we keep trying, because in the back of our heart, we remember unconditional love and we want it. We want it bad.
Here’s the secret: You’re still in the Garden. You never really left; it’s an illusion that you have to earn someone’s approval. You are MADE of unconditional love! Your soul is a piece of it, and you carry it around in this vessel you call a body. All you have to do is REMEMBER and FEEL.
Can you feel it? Have you ever felt like you’re back in the Garden? Close your eyes and feel it. It is within you now and forever.
I recently had a conversation with a woman named Janie who wondered if she is psychic. She told me that she often knows who is calling her phone before she answers it, believes she can tell what her dog is thinking, and finds that she is intuitive about numerous other things. Most people wonder at one time or another if there is something more to their “I knew who was calling” thing than meets the Third Eye.
There is good reason to wonder if we might posses a little bit of that sixth sense because–surprise!–we all do. We all have some intuitive ability. It is a built-in part of our psyche that works with our logic and our base instincts to help us figure out what’s what. Unfortunately, the intuition has been lost in a logical and practical world. We are taught to use logic and critical thinking in school, but if we cannot explain where we got an answer, well…we must be cheating!
Intuition has gotten away from our understanding, but like the appendix and the tailbone, it’s still there, whether you know what it’s for or not! Albert Einstein once said, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
Well-spake, Dr. Einstein!
But enough of my dismay with the current state of our collective understanding. The question remains, “Are you psychic?” And the simple answer is, “Yes!”
That doesn’t necessarily mean that Janie (or you) should hang out a neon hand and set up shop as a palm reader, but it does mean that people know much more than they think they know. We all have energetic access to all the information ever known or thought. Wow!
If you are interested in developing your natural intuitive abilities, first, forget the notion that something which catches your attention is only your imagination. When I was a little girl and told my mom that I felt like someone was watching me and that it felt like people were around me, she told me I had a wonderful imagination. While I am grateful she did not condemn me for it, it took me decades to figure out that there were spirits communicating with me from the Other Side! Try thinking that if something means something TO YOU, then it MEANS something to you. Got it?
Once you grasp this concept, take notice when your hunches are right. If you knew who was calling on the phone before you answered, pat yourself on the back and say, “Wow, I really DO have intuition!” Paying attention to these occurrences will increase their frequency in your awareness. Keep it up!
We are given both gifts of intuition and intellect, and we are at our best when we use them both. Try it–you just might discover that you are psychic after all!
If you are so inclined, feel free to post in the comments your experience with your intuition.
Ever been attacked? Bullied? Cyber-picked-on? Outright screamed at?
