Why You Shouldn’t Care About Life Lessons

study babyI received an email from a fellow spiritual teacher in which she talked about “lessons”.  You’ve probably heard something about lessons all your life–you have to learn your lessons, you came into this life to learn certain lessons and you’ll keep being challenged until you learn the lesson.


Pardon my profanity, but I never like using the word “lessons”.  The word “lesson” contains implicit reference to your ability to pass or fail.  And that’s just not how it works.

The Universe is logical.  There is no pass or fail, no right or wrong way to live your life.  There is only what you like and what you don’t like.

Yes, you learn, but not because anyone is keeping score and not because you might fail and mess up and fall down and never get it right.  You don’t have to get it right.  Your mission is to live in the way that you like.

Yes, there are consequences to actions, thoughts, and feelings.  What you get to learn is which actions, thoughts, and feelings bring the consequences you like, instead of the ones you don’t like.

Yes, it can be a little tricky.  But you have plenty of cosmic help and support.  Instead of “lessons”, think of “messages”.  Messages come at you all the time.  This is the word I prefer to “lessons”.  If you think of “messages” being provided to you through the consequences you are experiencing, you can figure out which messages lead you to the consequences you like.

Pay attention!  Thoughts that pop into your head, conversations you overhear, something that gets your attention on the radio, experiences that happen to you, and eventually your own body… all of these contain messages that are intended to guide you toward what you like.

Pay attention!

Why Did I Attract THIS?

[originally published October 19, 2007–and still completely relevant]


That’s the question we all need to ask all the time.

Many people have seen “The Secret” (and if you haven’t seen it, please go to http://www.thesecret.tv/ and watch it) and have been studying the Law of Attraction, so they’re starting to be conversant in some of those principles.

In my practice as a psychic medium and medical intuitive, I am starting to notice that my clients don’t get the whole picture of just what this attraction thing is.

Simply stated, the Law of Attraction is a law of physics that applies to your life in that what you put your attention on, you attract to you. Most people look at this law like “How can I attract more money/love/etc.?”

And that is great. That is the best use of the Law of Attraction and if you are consistently attracting things, people, relationships, and experiences that please you, I congratulate you! That is fantastic!

Unfortunately, that is not the case for about 98% of us out there. Most of us continue to attract at least a few things that we’re not too crazy about and here’s the kicker: nobody knows they’re doing it.

Just this past week, I have talked to three clients who were actually offended when I suggested that they had attracted experiences into their life that they didn’t like. “Why would I attract THAT?” they demanded. “I don’t want THAT, it’s BAD.”

Right, I get that. I understand that you don’t consciously want car trouble, health problems, bad grades, bad breath, or whatever. Who would?

And that’s exactly why you need to ask, “Why did I attract THIS?” Anything that gets your attention for better or worse, ask the question.

Here’s a dire example. Many people know that my husband died several years ago and left me with two small children to raise and very little life insurance. Why did I attract THAT?

Why indeed. I may never know all the reasons, but I know there are some, probably many, and some of them I do understand. And with some of those larger things (and maybe the small things too), your spirit got together with other spirits to plan some of the important events you wanted in your life as a human.

This is why we sometimes have trouble understanding—we don’t communicate with our own spirits very well. I work to bridge that gap for my clients, helping them communicate with Spirit and understand why they’re here—even when they’re attracting things they don’t like.

Food for thought, eh?

Create, Believe, Create, Believe

Oy!  It can be confusing sometimes, just living in this human life, day after day.  And you may have noticed that I have been talking about beliefs lately…  See this post and/or this one.

And if you listened in on the little audio about wealth I did recently, you may have heard me talking about beliefs there too.  In meditation, my angels revealed this to me:

You create what you believe, and you believe what you create.

Simple?  Yes.  Easy?  No way.

Let’s take a closer look at this.  You know that you are creating all the time, right?  That everything in your life, every feeling, every person and relationship, every material thing, every experience–you’ve created and attracted and allowed all of it.  Right?  Okay.

And you further know that you can change everything in your life by choosing to change it and thinking about it.  (For more info on Law of Attraction, refer to www.Abraham-Hicks.com and get a BEST Psychic Reading with me.)

So what this deal is saying is that (a) you create what you believe–okay, so you’re sitting there, wallowing in beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t make more money” or “I’m fat” or whatever negative thing you’re thinking.  And you create that.  You have created that thing you don’t like and don’t want.

However, before you do anything else, you automatically accept what you see and experience as reality.  So (b) you believe what you create.  Looking at what you now have, you say, “This is real, this is reality, this is what I have.  I believe it.”

And then you create what you believe.

Yeah, a vicious cycle indeed.

What can you do about it?  Try not believing what you think is real.  Try not believing at all.  Try believing something that you can’t see or feel right now.

And when you’ve got it licked, let me know!

Willpower vs. Desire

We all know what it takes to break a habit, right?  You just have to have the willpower to do it!

It takes willpower to quit smoking, lose weight, or get that Starbucks monkey off your back!  If you don’t have the willpower, you’re told that you are “weak” or “weak-willed”.  And you pray for the willpower to make something happen.

Well, what if, instead of trying to “will” yourself to do something good for you, you just had the desire to do it?

What if you just woke up one morning and said, “I am so excited to go to the gym!”?  And you really felt excited to go work out?  Or you just had NO DESIRE for another cigarette.  Wow.

One of my friends quit smoking years ago, and after about 5 years, I asked her, “Do you ever want a cigarette?”  She said, “Every day.”

By using willpower, she didn’t smoke, but she still WANTED to smoke.

I myself am a former smoker.  Yes, it’s true.  And you know there is nothing more sanctimonious than an ex-smoker!  I actually quit 5 times before it took.  And the reason?  I quit because I had the DESIRE.  The first 4 times, I only used willpower.  And I eventually failed.

You see, when you feel the desire to do something, there is no need for willpower.  You don’t have to think about it.  You just do what you have the desire to do.  You don’t have to will yourself to go to the gym or not to smoke.  You don’t have to make yourself go to a job you hate or not to go to Starbucks.  (I admit I’m a Starbucks junkie with no DESIRE to quit!)

So where do you get this fabulous thing called desire?  Ask.

That’s it.  You just ask for it.  And you tell Mr. Will Power good-bye, because you don’t need him anymore.  Miss Dee Zire has taken over and she feels good!

For more about asking for the desire, see “3-D: Three Easy Steps to Getting What You Want.” 

Did you like this post?  Be sure to sign up for my free report and free newsletters.  Click “Sign Me Up” in the top right of this page.

Part 1: How to Start 2012–or Any Time–with a BANG

manifestation aI’ve been talking about the Big Bang that 2012 brought into my life–or that I brought into my life!  And I’ve been trying to figure out how I did it, energetically-speaking, so I can share it with you.

As you may know, manifestation is not often a straight line.  It takes patience, courage, and the ability to follow your inner guidance.  This blog post is by no means an exhaustive manifestation guide, but I’ve put together some of the tools I have used that have created a “Big Bang” in my life!

I may not know you personally, but I suspect we have a lot of things in common.  I have worked with enough clients to know what most people go through on a regular basis.  I understand pretty well what your life is like, based on my experiences and those of my clients.  Most of us have money issues, and I am no exception.  I have a minority of clients who do not–and that’s another story, as to why they don’t struggle while the rest of us do.  Hold on, I’m going to add that to my list…

Okay, I’m back.  Where was I?  Oh, yes.  It’s also my job, my calling, my duty, and my privilege to give you information that will improve your life whenever I come across it!  Keep in mind that it’s never over, you’re never done creating your life.  You don’t just set up a lottery win (for example) and then sit in your chair watching TV for the rest of your life!  But once you get some momentum going, you can keep creating more and more of what you like and enjoy.  So here, in a few points, are some of the tools I’ve used to go from bored and struggling to busy and prosperous.

1.  Do everything – 
My angels recently put this little tidbit in my head.  I was wondering, what works?  Feng Shui, vision boards, affirmations, magic incantations, what?  What’s the best manifestation tool I can use?  What’s the ONE that works for me?  And the answer came back, “All of it.  All of it works, so do everything.  Do everything that you know of or can imagine, and it will help you create what you want.”  To that end…

2.  Write a letter to 2012 –
One of the things I thought of was to write a letter to 2012.  You could also write to this week or month or day or your whole life.  I chose to write to 2012, because, well, it’s 2012.  I’m still working on this letter to the “New Year” (it won’t be new for much longer), and it says things like, “By the end of you, I will have paid back all obligations, or at least have made a sizable dent in them.”  And “You’re already doing a great job of bringing me new opportunities.  For the rest of the year, I want to notice lots more great opportunities for me to enjoy my life.  I want to make more friends and more money…”  And “I’m excited about getting to go to these events…  Please help me to orchestrate those.”  You get the idea.  This is a way of focusing your attention clearly on what you really want.  Remember to stay positive!  Stay away from ideas like, “Dear 2012, this year, I really don’t want any more drama and I don’t want to gain any more weight.”  That’s a good way to get more of what you don’t want!

3.  The Law of Opposites – 
Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations with God series, refers to this in his book, Happier than God.  He says that, any time you start to manifest something you want, you’ll get the opposite of it first.  I’m not sure if it happens quite like that, but I have definitely noticed times when I get a lot of opposite going on!  Know what I mean?   Walsch goes on to explain that the problem with this is that a lot of people give up at that point.  “It didn’t work.  I was trying to create this, and instead I got that.  Pooh.”  He then points out that you have to hang in there and trust that what you are working for will come to be.

4.  Trust, faith, expectation –
“Faith” really means “expectation”.  When you expect something to happen, really know in your heart that it will, it will.  That’s what faith is.  That’s what trust is.  Try using expectation on things you actually like, rather than things you worry about.  (You might appreciate my post, “Can you create with fear?“.)

5.  3-D:  Three simple steps to getting what you want
I sometimes forget that I’m an expert!  Ever have that problem?  Well, check out my manifestation tool, 3-D, right here.  I find it to be successful much of the time.  And when it’s not, I know it’s only because I wasn’t holding my mouth right.  ;o)

6.  Nan Akasha –
I’ve recommended Nan on several occasions, and for good reason.  She has some great insights into bringing more money into your life.   Her video about looking for your car keys just cracked me up!  It really opened my eyes when she said, “When you’re looking for your car keys, you know they’re around there somewhere, and you don’t worry that you aren’t worthy of finding them.”  Brilliant!  Do you get that?  If you looked for money the way you look for your keys, do you think you might have better luck finding it?  Read/see more of Nan’s wisdom here.

And that’s not all!  Next time, I’ll have several more tools for you.  Stay tuned!

Did you like this post?  Be sure to sign up for my free report and free newsletters.  Click “More” in the menu at the top of this page, then choose “free newsletters”.


Part 2: How to Start 2012–or Any Time–with a BANG

manifestation aHere we are again, boys and girls!  As promised, here’s more of my informal manifestation guide.  Read Part 1 right here.

As I was sayin’, my personal 2012 has started off with a BANG!  And I wanted to share with you just how I did it, so you can get your own BANG!  (By the way, I drew my own graphic for this – like it?  Share in the comments.  Don’t worry; I know it’s not “real art”, but it suits my purposes here!)

Continuing with tips and tools to manifest what you want, here are a few more:

7. Affirmations – 
Right, I know, affirmations are trite, dumb, they don’t work, whatever.  And you may have heard (or read) me say that I used not to care much for them myself.  I used to think they were a “ritual” and I didn’t care for “rituals”.  But then one day, I drew an angel card that recommended affirmations, and I kind of sighed.  “Affirmations.  Bleh.”  Then I heard a clear and kind angel voice that said, “Affirmations are about affirming, not about ritual.”  And I changed my attitude!  So I have used affirmations quite a bit, and I believe some of them have contributed to my current bang of success.  Try “I am rich and I am worthy, yes I am.”  And “I always have more money.”  Or success or happiness or physical comfort… you get the idea.

8.  Recognize everything –
Pay attention!  This is one of the biggest and best tips I can give you for manifestation–or just for a happier life.  Notice what’s happening around you and don’t be too quick to dismiss things as coincidence or imagination.  Could there be a message for you in everything you see, hear, and feel?  YES!  And there usually is.  So pay attention and then notice what happens.  Notice that money might come to you in different forms from what you would expect.  For example, not long ago, I held a Suzi-Q & A LIVE psychic event in a hotel meeting room.  When I arrived for the event, the salesperson had neglected to record it, so the room wasn’t ready.  Fortunately, it was still available and the staff hustled to get it ready for me.  And then the clerk announced a little gift:  I would be given 50% off the cost of the room, because they made a mistake.  Now, I had just set the intention to come out of the event with more money than I walked into it with.  I didn’t have any expectations about what form that “more money” would take.  But because of this simple error, I walked out with more than I walked in with!  I also had four people show up whom I didn’t expect.  And the gas for my car was less than I thought it would be.  So I wound up with more money than I started with–but do you see how you could miss that as being money coming in?  So recognize all the ways the Universe is sending you what you want.

9.  Feng Shui –
I am not a Feng Shui practitioner.  I leave that to the experts, and I highly recommend that you check out my friend, Belinda Mendoza, at Design for Energy.  You’ll find info about Feng Shui on her website and you can also sign up for her newsletters.  She’s brilliant!  And I don’t claim to be brilliant with Feng Shui, but I can tell you some things I’ve done or know about that have been effective for me.
a)  Clean and de-clutter:  In particular, keep these three areas clean – the stove and kitchen, the walkway to the main entrance of your home, and your bed/bedroom.  I usually make my bed every day just because I like the way it looks, but this is a principle of Feng Shui too.  And I confess that my kitchen is not always clean.  In fact, the busier I am (like now), the less attention it gets.  But I do try!  Clearing out clutter in general keeps the past from dragging you down.  And Belinda told me that dust represents the past–so get it out of there!
b)  Greenery at the front door:  I didn’t have any handy, so I cut out a “wreath” from a green file folder and stuck it on my front door.  Within a couple of hours, I had a new client.  Coincidence?  Well….  Remember that fresh/real is better than silk, but silk is better than plastic.  And your intentions and feelings are most important of all.
c)  Keep toilet lids down and bathroom doors shut:  I already kept the lids down for a lot of other reasons, so this one hasn’t made a difference for me recently, but you might find that it does.  Keeping drains plugged up can be a hassle, but it might keep your money from going down the drain!

10. Astrology – 
I can’t recommend enough that you get a good astrology reading, preferably one that addresses the current transits and their effect on your natal chart.  I know just a little more about astrology than I do about Feng Shui, but I know that there’s no way my current increase in energy and success has come without some heavenly shifts.  I know that Uranus, planet of generosity and surprise, is getting very close to my second house of income.  And the last time that happened, before it went retrograde last year, I was starting to feel some effects of that.  And understanding even as much as I do gives me the chance to do some things I might not otherwise do.  In other words, if you get a good astrology reading, you’ll know what opportunities to watch for, what setbacks you might avoid, etc.

11. Abraham –
Ah, the teachings of Abraham.  If you’re not already familiar, hie thee:  www.Abraham-Hicks.com.  Esther Hicks is an “interpreter” (her word) of Pure Source Energy, which, in this case, calls itself Abraham.  Abraham talks all about Law of Attraction and why you’re here and how to create your best life.  When I first heard Abraham speak a number of years ago, my first thought was, “Oh, good, someone is talking about this stuff I have always known!  Now I can talk about it too!”  They started to demystify the concepts of energy, vibration, and manifestation, and I was so thrilled that they paved the way for teachers like myself.  I don’t think I have ever disagreed with one thing they’ve presented.  Oh, and you can sign up for a daily quote from Abraham too.

12.  Focus on the good stuff – 
It has not escaped my attention that some people talk in negative terms all the time.  “That won’t work.”  “Things are terrible.”  “I’m so worried about…”  “I’m very disappointed about…”   Notice whether you are one of those and, if you are, STOP!  Start noticing every negative phrase you utter–or think–and replace those phrases with positive ones.  It takes practice but it’s far from impossible.  Now, what did you say?  “This is such a good thing!”  That’s better.  Here’s a quick example:  I was recently cast in a play that I starred in when I was in high school.  This time, I got a bit part.  This is the first bit part I’ve had since I was 15!  (That’s a really long time ago.)  It’s a great part, though, lots of fun, the potential to really steal my one scene, not to mention that I am waaay too busy to learn 250 lines and be on stage the whole show and at every single rehearsal for the next six weeks!  Maybe the Universe knows what it’s doing after all…

13.  Gratitudinalize –
Yeah, yeah, you know about gratitude, right?   Maybe you have a gratitude journal or you say a daily prayer of gratitude.  Great!  I want to add a couple of things to that.  First of all, gratitude is for you.  Thanking is for the thanker.  Maybe not when you thank your friend for giving you a really nice gift.  Or a not so nice gift.  That’s for both of you.  But when you thank God, the Universe, your Higher Self, Spirit, or whatever you are thanking, that thanks is for you.  Why?  Because God and all the rest do not need your thanks.  They/It is not concerned with your gratitude, but when you say, “Thank you,” it makes a huge difference for you.  Here we are back to something that has worked for me–not long ago, I woke up every morning with “Thank you, thank you, thank YOU” in a conga rhythm playing in my head.  Pretty soon, it was a habit and, if I didn’t “hear” it, I would start it on my own.  This is one of my new habits.  Yeah, you could add this under “affirmations”.  It’s a good one.  So be grateful for everything you like and even some of what you don’t like.

14. Dream –
You may have read my recent blog post about dreams.  If not, you can enjoy it right here.   I’m not talking about your subconscious acting out while you sleep.  I’m talking about dreaming about what you want in your life.  Visioning, imagining, fantasizing, no matter what you call it, it’s really useful.  Brian Tracy wrote, “All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose.”  I am not a hard-core goal-setter.  I’ve read those business success books and been to the leadership seminars and so forth.  I did all that back in the 1980s and 1990s.  And, while the business success gurus offer some overlap into my more woo-woo world of Law of Attraction, I suggest you dream more dreamily.  Paint pictures in your mind of events and conversations, of feeling happy and successful according to your own definitions.  Dream of results, not “HOW” to get to them.  And let the Universe put the opportunities, people, and potential in your path.  Then follow your dreams right to those results!

If these points have spoken to you, or you’ve had results with tools like these, or if you have a different tool that’s been effective for you, won’t you share it with me and my readers?  I welcome your comments!

Did you like this post?  Be sure to sign up for my free report and free newsletters.  Click “Sign Me Up” in the top right of this page.