Darling, My A$$

by Susan K Morrow | Dec 12, 2013 | Tales from the Psychic's Diary, The Psychic Has Pspoken!

As you may know, I have worked some (long and tedious) months at a local coffee shop, to help make ends meet, provide health insurance for myself and my daughter, and for free mochas, the free mochas being the main reason.

The case study in sociology that this has turned out to be is nothing short of astonishing. For example, some customers treat you like “the help”, as if you are not a person, but a servant. Some treat you like you’re a buddy. And some treat you like s**t, plain and simple.

And then there are my co-workers. One little girl, and by “little”, I mean “young enough to be my offspring”, calls everyone “darling”. It’s the most cloying and annoying habit I have encountered at the coffee shop. Well, among my co-workers. Lately. Okay, ever.

Keeping in mind that I was born and raised in the Grite Stite of Texas, here is my planned speech for the next time she does this to me:

“Listen up, missy.  When you address me or refer to me, you have two choices:  ‘Miss Susan’ and ‘ma’am’.  If those don’t suit you, you may alternatively use ‘Mrs. Morrow’ or “your majesty’.  And you are not too old to turn over my checkered apr’n!”

I usually get along great with everyone, but this Miss Priss is asking for it!