[originally published February 14, 2008]
As a psychic medium and all that jazz, when I have several clients in one week who need the same lesson or–ahem–lecture from our session, I know this is a universal need. And that’s what happened a while back. I therefore feel compelled to share this important information about human relationships.

We all know the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It’s great to teach children, so that they learn empathy or at least sympathy.

But when you get into more intimate relationships, especially those with a spouse or romantic partner, you need to go a little deeper. It’s not enough to think how you would feel or what you would want and then treat the other person that way. You have to know what your partner wants.

And so the Golden Rule for Intimate Relationships is:

“Do unto the other person as the other person wants or needs you to do.”

This is what keeps husbands from giving their wives speedboats and wives from giving their husbands fur coats.

The trick is that the partner must express those needs and wants clearly. No fair saying, “If you don’t know what’s wrong, I’m certainly not going to tell you!”

Thus, the corollary to the Golden Rule for Intimate Relationships is:

“Each partner must express his/her wants and needs.”

If you don’t know what you want, then the two of you work on it together.

Sure, it isn’t always easy. A few episodes of, “I’m sorry, but that’s what I would have wanted if I had be in your situation” are acceptable. After a while, though, couples should really get the idea.

Have you made your wants clear? If not, maybe not getting what you want is – well, it’s in your hands!